An Open Letter from Dads
on the Cornell Seven
Content note: this letter discusses sexual assault.
We are dads. We’re raising sons and daughters. We want the world for them. And like so many others reading about the Cornell Seven case, we are sickened, angry, and sad.
Our boys and young men must be better than this. Our universities must be better than this. Our legal system must be better than this. Our culture must be better than this.
The alleged acts are monstrous. But what stops us cold, as dads, is that the accused weren’t obvious monsters. One was a class president. All of them are somebody’s son. No father raises a boy expecting this, which means none of us gets to assume it couldn't be ours.
But for Jane Doe, none of that mattered.
Our boys are growing up in a society that tells them manhood means dominance. That closing ranks and being loyal mean more than doing what’s right. That in group chats and frat houses, even when you know something is wrong, you stay quiet.
As dads, we will not stay quiet.
It is on us to model a different manhood for our sons. What we laugh at, what we let slide, what we say when no women are in the room – it all matters.
We must show our sons that being a man means not only knowing right from wrong, but demanding more from ourselves and the men around us. We must model a manhood that would never allow, enable, or stay quiet about sexual assault.
As dads, we commit to:
Talk with our sons – plainly, early, and consistently – about consent, and exactly what we expect of them.
Teach them that strength comes from speaking up, doing the right thing, breaking from the group, and helping anyone in need.
Model the right way ourselves by calling out misconduct of any kind from other men, whether it comes through words or actions.
Demand that our institutions, legal system, and society hold accountable anyone who commits sexual assault or violence.
Anything less is unacceptable.
As dads, we’re committed to raising good sons, being good men, and fighting for a world where every report of sexual assault is taken seriously, every person who comes forward is treated with dignity and, most of all, where there are no more Jane Does.
Signed,
Dads Who Demand Better